There once were some Rapids named Cedar

Altho he was basically Andy

Just watching Ed Helms get all randy

Delivered the laughs

And John Reilly's gaffes

Made this flick some comedy candy.

There once was a spy named Nikita

If you feel like you've seen this before

It's because it is time number four

That they've made Nikita

The killer Lolita

You're forgiven for asking "what for?"

To stick with this blog's gimmick, I title posts with the classic limerick opener whether it fits well or not. In this case, it's definitely not, but "There fourth was a spy named Nikita" doesn't really work from a grammar standpoint. Regardless, this "new" show is hardly that – it's the latest iteration of the revenge story of a criminal-turned-assassin-turned-spy-turned-on-her-makers. The first two were films – La Femme Nikita from Luc Besson and the American remake starring a seriously miscast Bridget Fonda called Point of No Return. It moved to TV in the late 90s with Peta Wilson on USA, and now the CW's hoping the fourth time's a charm with the singularly titled pilot, Nikita.

This one stars Maggie Q, a Jackie Chan protege who plays Nikita as sort of the offspring of Michelle Yeoh and Sydney Bristow – if the pilot's any indication, the primary element of most of the plots will involve either getting dressed or punching people in progressively skimpier outfits. When she's not doing that, Nikita's main mission is to take down "Division," the shadow government organization that created her. We learn why through the eyes of Alex, an apprentice assassin played by Lyndsy Fonseca with a brooding stare that's likely due to the missing and/or misplaced vowels in her name. They're going up against Shane West, Melinda Clarke and Xander Berkeley, of ER, OC and 24 fame respectively, who at this point are fairly standard bad guys/girls in suits and pantsuits.

"Fairly standard" turns out to be a pretty apt description, based purely on the pilot. We've seen a lot of this before... and not just because it's the fourth version of this story. It's more that many of the pieces of the pilot feel put together from other shows – a training sequence here, a gravesite visit there, etc. None of it's bad, but it's not particularly compelling yet. The one element that does stand out is Maggie Q, even when she's not dressing or punching. While the series is being sold on her looks, she shows glimpses of a wry sense of humor that could eventually elevate Nikita above its somewhat generic status of "Sexy Spy Show."

Here's hoping that happens, because there's definite potential kicking around the corners of the pilot – an appealing cast, solid (if well-worn) premise, etc. Freed of the expository tasks that weigh down most pilots, the next few episodes will show whether Nikita can develop an identity of her own. Worth a watch.

There once was a teen girl named Katniss

Despite her unfortunate name

This heroine isn't too lame

Altho much of the bulk

Of these books is her sulk

Ing because she's forced to maim.

The Hunger Games trilogy is the latest "OMG are you Team This Guy or That Guy?" sensation that the kids (and a bunch of their parents) are all atwitter about. As young adult books go, it's somewhat standard – plucky heroine, love triangle, teen angst, and so on. What's not standard is the premise: it takes place in a post-apocalyptic America that's been divided into Districts that are forced on an annual basis to enter two teenagers into a March Madness of sorts where they kill each other for sport. So... not the cheeriest premise, but does it hold up through three books?

Almost.

The first two books are grim little page-turners. Katniss Everdeen (I know – perhaps the dictionaries of our far future have her picture next to the words "trying too hard") is a seventeen-year old girl scratching out a meager existence by sneaking through the walls surrounding her coal-mining District 12 to find food for her family armed only with a bow. Foreshadowing alert! That bow comes in handy when she gets swept up in The Hunger Games, the somewhat ill-defined tournament that the government created as punishment for a decades-old rebellion that wiped one of the Districts off the map.

The first book plays out sort of like The Running Man meets The Most Dangerous Game with a dash of Twilight thrown in. Amidst the remarkably gruesome slayings of teenage children, Katniss meets the men that will mold her future – Peeta, another contestant who she gets paired with and Haymitch, a former winner of the Hunger Games who serves as her mentor. And is almost always drunk. There are several other kids competing in the Games, but I won't bother describing them because, well, they pretty much all get killed. The offhanded brutality woven through the entire series never stops being an odd tonal element – in our world, where the Hunger Games haven't been running for seventy-five years, it's somewhat jarring to watch your heroine put an arrow through a stranger's eye without blinking hers, considering the combined age of those involved probably doesn't total thirty. They're in the process of making a movie of the trilogy and one wonders how they're going to make bleak tween killings work on screen.

I'm trying to stay relatively spoiler-free, but hopefully it's not a shock that Katniss survives her first Games to make it two the second book, Catching Fire. Here's where the requisite love triangle really gets going – between the aforementioned Peeta and Gale, the childhood friend Katniss used to hunt with. Also, the road to another rebellion begins to be paved, as the government contrives to draw former contestants back into the Games. A la Empire Strikes Back, the sequel's an improvement over the original in that we start to get a window into a larger world and the author's writing style smoothes out a bit. Powerful prose isn't exactly Suzanne Collins' strong suit, but she seems to be guiding the action with a surer hand in book two.

Unfortunately, sticking with the Star Wars metaphor, the threequel is the weakest of the trilogy. Mockingjay suffers from a rigid adherence to theme; rather than watching Katniss evolve from an overwhelmed girl into a confident leader, much of the book is spent hiding and bemoaning her fate. It's a problem with the protagonist throughout the series, actually – while Katniss does get older, she doesn't do a whole lot of growing up. It doesn't doom the books, but her increasingly introverted inaction does begin to wear thin. Part of the problem is the present tense the books are written in. It helps amp up the immediacy and sense of danger, but relegates many of the major developments to offscreen action. Huge cultural shifts take place between the pages, meaning Katniss (and consequently the reader) only hear about how the world gets reshaped, rather than experiencing it.

So it ends with a bit more of a whimper than a bang, but overall it's a good ride. Don't go into it looking for a fully-realized Harry Potter world, or the purple prose of Twilight – think of it more as a bleak beach book and enjoy.

There once was Glee and Family

I don't watch Modern Family

But wanted it to lose to Glee

I guess I can't judge

And don't hold a grudge

But it seems much more ordinary.

There once was a show that got Lost

So Mad Men the Emmy did score

I'm sorry, I think it's a bore

It was a great mystery

Will go down in history

I wish Lost did not get ignored

There once was an Emmy for Claire

Apparently Claire Danes was great

In a role that's so Emmy bait

So was she delirious

With her "like, for serious"

Or is she still Angela Chase?

There once was a Clooney named George

George Clooney is a total badass

His intentions are really first class

His speech can't be beat

Kept it short and sweet

And even peppered in some sass.