There once was an Ass that got Kicked

There's plenty of fresh controversy
About this satirical movie
At the end of the day
The flick is ok
You're fine if you just wait for TV





Kick-Ass doesn't, totally. It certainly has moments, but they're kind of hit and miss. So in that vein, let's go bad news/good news.

First, the misses – mostly plotting and a bit of casting. To say the film's unfocused would be an understatement. It purports to be a deconstructionist superhero story, but doesn't really look at the psyche behind the kind of people with no powers who pick up the cape and cowl to fight crime. Whereas something like Watchmen really examines what those choices would do to people, Kick-Ass mostly uses that conceit as a flight of fancy.

Also, the plot is pretty messy. There's the story of an average high-schooler becoming fed up with the evil in the world, purchasing a wetsuit and becoming Kick-Ass, street-level superhero. Much is made of how this inspires people to join his cause, wear his t-shirts, create comics about him, etc... but the other superhero stars of the film turn out to be completely unrelated. Rather than being inspired by Kick-Ass's emergence, these highly polished vigilantes (Big Daddy as a mean spin on Batman and Hit Girl, the tween assassin) are mostly embarrassed by his actions. In a world where the main character wants nothing more than real-world superheroes, why had he never heard of these two?

Another miss is the antagonist – a Central Casting mobster and his cadre of generic wiseguys. The basic inspiration behind the movie is of regular joes becoming superheroes... wouldn't some of them take the supervillain route instead? Watching Generic Crime Boss become increasingly annoyed that his drug trade is being interrupted or some such thing is beyond forgettable.

And speaking of casting, more misses: Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad's McLovin') stays well within his wheelhouse – mealymouthed awkwardness with a touch of whiny profanity. If that's your thing, enjoy, but I think we're seeing the edge of his clearly limited range. And Nicolas Cage delivers all his lines with a halting cadence reminiscent of a fairly creepy science teacher, robbing every scene of any emotional impact.

But there are a couple hits in the cast, too – Aaron Johnson is relaxed and natural as the titular hero. He doesn't over- or under-play his face-in-the-crowd character, making him pretty approachable and his actions almost believable. But the breakout star is Chloe Grace Moretz as Hit Girl. Child actors are generally tiresome at best, but Moretz is remarkably natural and appealing. Her role could've been a film-killing embarrassment, but thanks to her it's a highlight.

That said, Hit Girl's the epicenter of the movie's controversy. Oddly, what seems to be upsetting people more than giving an 11-year old mass-murder the hero treatment is the fact that she drops the "C-word" at one point. That's completely backward, but I do have to say that there is something a bit queasy watching her perform bullet-riddled ballets. Or getting punched in the face by a grown man 'til she's weary and bloody. I'm not generally one for hand-wringing about the perils of copycat media and such, but the fact that her weapons and methods are all (relatively) realistic and obtainable means I would prolly pass on selling Hit Girl Halloween costumes at Toys 'r Us.

But it's a common contradiction inherent in the film – is this a comment on the oversexualization and hyperviolent treatment of women in the media or just a check-your-head-balls-to-the-wall-fantasy-action flick? Overall, the movie feels a little have your cake and smash it over someone's head, too. That said, there's an underlying spirit to it that sort of makes it work. The movie's kind of a mishmosh, but at heart the idea of everyday people unwilling to let the world slide into evil is appealing enough to make you root for even the most sociopathic of superheroes. Well, except for Nic Cage.

So if the trailer looked like your ultimate fanboy fantasy, the movie'll generally fulfill it. If you're purely looking for Hong Kong action acrobatics, you'll be somewhat underwhelmed, save for a few moments that are undeniably kinetically cool. It's not grand enough in scale to insist on a big-screen viewing, and may actually play better at home where it's freed from the expectations of an event movie. It may not completely kick ass, but you won't feel like you got your ass kicked, either.